Lake Ohrid, Macedonia

After a wonderful three months, I left Kosovo to start a Balkan adventure with my mom. Our first stop was Lake Ohrid, FYROM/Macedonia. On the way, we stopped in Skopje. The travel agency wanted us to spend a night in Skopje, but since I have already been there and I know it is not the most exciting place in the world, I strongly disagreed and decided we had to change plans. We had a pleasant stop there though and walked around the huge Bazaar, only since it was a Sunday it was virtually empty.

Then we had around a three hour drive to Ohrid, and except for a border guard being very confused about why I spent three months in Kosovo, nothing exciting happened. We arrived at Ohrid at night, so we couldn’t really see anything. We settled into our hotel and went downstairs for dinner. Well since it is not tourist season, the restaurant was completely empty except for us. The waiter explained to us what our food options were, “trout, veal, fish, scallops, chicken..” and I love scallops, and have been craving seafood these past three months, so I jumped at the idea of getting scallops. My mom opted for trout, since our guide told us it was a specialty here and there was a kind of trout that only lived in this lake. Our food arrived and I looked down and saw meat. I was utterly confused – this was definitely not scallops. My mom started laughing and told me that they must have meant veal scallopini, since veal is commonly eaten here. I am not the kind of person to make a fuss and send things back, so I reluctantly ate my veal… it was okay. The food in Macedonia definitely has not been the best.

The next day was great. Ohrid is a small city on Lake Ohrid, which straddles both Macedonia and Albania. The lake itself is very beautiful, and is the number one tourist destination in Macedonia. At first I was bummed out that we came so late in the season – bad weather, some stores are closed…but the positive outcome is that the streets are empty, and we are free to wander around the city without any other tourists nearby. There is a modern part of the city, but there is also an old walled city that sits upon a hill. At the top of the hill there is a castle, which definitely crosses the line between renovation and complete reconstruction of a castle. It is basically brand new and does even resemble an old historic building, but at least it sets an atmosphere and gives us an idea of what the area used to look like.

The best two words to describe Ohrid are ‘little churches.’ The city is full of them! It is really beautiful, we spent a long time looking around little streets, and after every turn, we found a small hidden abandoned church. They are mostly all brick and Orthodox. We only entered a couple of them, since most of them are in very bad condition and are closed. The ones we did enter though have old fresco murals covering the walls. It’s hard to imagine why such a small city would need over twenty churches, but I went with the flow and appreciated them. Afterward, we drove around 20 km (or 12 miles for those of us who don’t understand the metric system), to Sveti Naum church, which sits on the sea. We had to walk past many tourist stalls selling little paintings of religious figures and jars of honey… poor disappointed stall owners, since there were hardly any tourists and they were wasting their time sitting there.

The church for some reason had a lot of peacocks in its garden, that is probably the thing that I will remember most, even though it was a nice church. As great as churches are from an art and historical perspective, after a certain point they can really just all blend together, especially in the case of Ohrid, where the architecture is all practically the same. The peacocks though were hilarious, and our guide could not really understand why they were there. Peacocks are somewhat a religious symbol here, I’ve seen them on some of the iconoclasts, so perhaps that is one of the reasons.

After Sveti Naum, we wandered around the city more, and on our walk back to our hotel, my mom and I were lucky enough to watch the sunset. It was perfect: the sun was setting right next to the old city, and also on Lake Ohrid, so there was a beautiful reflection on the lake. Those of you who know me know that I am absolutely obsessed with taking photos on sunsets. This time I really outdid myself and took over 116. I’ve been trying to narrow them done, and maybe I have around 40 left on my computer. I just can’t say no to them, and there were even swans swimming in the lake in the pink water from the sun. Really, how can you resist?

Ohrid overall was a completely charming city, and I definitely see why so many tourists flock there in the summer. The old streets are adorable, but seem to me more authentic than the white stone streets you see somewhere like Dubrovnik. It is touristy, however since we went in late October we were basically alone in the city. If you are in the Balkans, I would definitely recommend going to this city. It is perhaps not a completely authentic city, at least the old part, as it tries to caters to tourists, it is still a great historic spot because of the plethora of little churches and the picturesque spot on the lake.

Macedonia itself is a pretty confusing country. The Balkans is characterized by ethnic tension, and Macedonia is no exception. Actually, the Albanian community has a large percentage (I think around 25%) of the population, and thus it became the second official language after Macedonian. A lot of neighboring countries lay a claim on Macedonia - there is Albania who claims big cities like Tetovo, Greece who has issue with the technicality of the name because the Macedonian Region extends into Greece and Bulgaria, not just the country Macedonia itself, and Bulgaria. I've had Bulgarians tell me that there is no such thing as a Macedonian - they are all Bulgarians! I did not take this man's word for truth, since Macedonia was in Bulgaria's control for a long time. But that's just the thing here - every modern country was at some time in someone else's control... Just because a country was under someone's control 400 years ago - does that legitimize their claim on it? I think about this and apply it to the US: are we all Brits? I would never call myself British... but our version of nationality is different, and to understand the Balkan idea of it you have to forget what we think of as ethnicity and nationality in the US. It's a long process...but interesting!

Abuse

So the other week my boss invited me to go to the field with her and two of my other co-workers during the day. Excited for some real experience, I gladly went. We went back to the area surrounding Ferizaj, which is where I previously went for the graduation ceremony. This time though we visited different women. My boss warned me that we were visiting women who were victims of domestic abuse, so I tried to prepare myself for what I would experience. I’m not sure really how you can prepare yourself for this situation, but I tried.

We drove around getting somewhat lost on our way to the first house. Remember that street signs are nearly non-existent, especially in small villages or in the outskirts of a city. We had to stop and ask at least four people where this street was, how to get there, and how far away it was. We came upon this rocky road and the car slowly made its way down it, though for a minute I was sure that a tire was going to pop and we would be stranded. We stopped at a school where a man told us to go a little further down the road. There were very small houses spread out along the countryside. The houses were all very small, one or two stories, and most were not painted but were simply brick, which seems to be the cheapest material here for building houses. We finally found the house. It had a pretty backyard with some natural flowers and a little stone path to the house. We got there and say miredita (good day), and I could tell that they are surprised that there is a foreigner there. I saw this man again who was at the school who directed us towards the house, and I looked at my boss, and she told me that he is the husband of the woman we are going to visit. Suddenly I was confused: how were we supposed to visit an abused woman and comfort her if her husband is sitting next to us?

It was a pretty awkward experience. Every time that the husband left the room, his mother attempted to tell my boss about his abuse. The wife did not seem to have the courage to speak up; she remained silent while the mother did all of the talking. Every time he reentered the room, the mother would stop talking and the conversation would take another direction. Of course this was in Albanian, and my boss only told me about the specifics later.
The house itself was spacey, but perhaps it only seemed so since it was practically empty aside from the couch we were sitting on. There was a mouse that kept peeking out from a hole in the wall. It kept trying to make its way across the room, and would run back into the hole… it really distracted me.

It was really heartbreaking to see the condition that this woman lived in. She was really poor, and her husband was not looking for work. Her marital duty was to stay at home, and he did not want her to find a job either, so she was destined for poverty. Societal standards also prohibited her from leaving her husband; my boss said that her parents did not want her to return home because it would be shameful. Our organization could not do that much to help her. Shelters exist, but there is a taboo about visiting them. It is hard for women to earn enough money to support themselves and their children. Furthermore, the government usually grants custody to fathers in cases of divorce, so even if she wanted to leave her husband, he would keep the children and keep abusing them as well. Thus, she seemed condemned to live in this situation.
The most we could do at this point was lend moral support. It sounds pretty flimsy, and I felt pretty helpless. However, this woman clearly felt happy that we were there and she was encouraged by our presence. I hope that someday this situation gets better for women and that more can be done to help women who are abused.

The second home we went to was in a somewhat nicer neighborhood, though the inside of the house was similarly empty. This time the husband was not there, and we found a woman sitting down with an older woman and two young girls nearby. The old woman was her mother-in-law, and I could immediately tell that she wielded some sort of control over her daughter-in-law. It was really sad to see a woman siding for physical abuse of a man’s wife, AND his daughters. This just goes to show how a patriarchal society can have such negative outcomes, especially if no one dares to stop the men. The women can’t leave because they need a man for income, and because of the social stigma against them. The worst part is the limited amount of things you can do to help. The most it seems you can do is offer them an alternative, a place where they can stay, and work, but you cannot force a woman who does not want to leave to leave, and you cannot easily change societal notions of a woman living alone. Well, I guess we can try.

Diversity and Equality

I think in my blogs I have seemed very optomistic about Kosovo as a country and about the Kosovar culture. If you haven't noticed that, I am. I really love living here, I love the people, and I love the relaxed style of life. As great as it is to live here, some of the politics and the conservative has been getting to me a little bit.

I'm sure all of you readers know me, I can't really imagine that this blog has reached people that didn't follow my facebook link or my e-mails. Since you know me, you know that I grew up in San Francisco, a liberal paradise in the U.S. Living in San Francisco instilled me with a strong sense of equality, whether it be racial, gender, or sexual preference. Living in Kosovo now, I see all sorts of these equalities completely blurred and turned upside down.

Of course, I've talked about the ethnic tension here between Serbians and Albanians. That is kind of obvious.. at least to me. But what might not be as obvious, is the idea of 'diversity' here and what it means. When I think of diversity, I think of every kind of person imaginable living in a single community. It doesn't necessarily have to be harmonious living, but at least different races, socio-economic backgrounds, etc. Diversity can mean a lot of things. Diversity here is something quite different, if it exists at all. There is little to no religious diversity, with almost every Albanian being Muslim (there are a few Catholics here), and almost every Serbian being Orthodox (there are not many Serbians anyways, at least in Pristina). There is no real racial diversity. There are not even any Serbians in Pristina. If you see someone of African American descent, I can tell that every single person on the street notices this person - and stares. And obviously is a foreigner working for NATO or another foreign government agency. I have only seen two Asian people the whole time I've been here. I constantly have the feeling that everyone is staring at me as I walk down the street because they can tell that I am a foreigner and that I am different. I don't mean staring at me in a negative way, but it is that if you do not fit in and do not conform to some sort of mould, then it is noticed... And that makes me feel a bit awkward.

There is, of course, socio-economic diversity, however it is not as apparent in Pristina as it is other places in the country. As I've said in previous posts, the average income is around 150 Euro a month. A lot of people in Pristina make more than that, purely because it is the capital, and because of the foreign presence in the city, which includes NATO, UN Mission in Kosovo, European Union Mission in Kosovo, European Council, USAID, foreign banks like Raffeisen and ProCredit... just to name a few. They employ some locals, however the local employees do earn less than foreigners. Anyways, since most of these organizations are centered in Pristina, it is natural that this city has the highest income. However, it is once you leave the city that you really feel extreme poverty. In Pristina, there are some beggers, Roma children trying to sell you peanuts or beg for money, however there are not as many as I anticipated before I came here. At night at a cafe, it really does not feel as though most people here only make 150-200 Euro a month. Everyone dresses up and looks nice, orders drinks, stays out late.. it simply does not feel like people are struggling to earn money. I am sure that many of these people are in fact struggling, or are unemployed, however they do not act like it. This makes the diversity feel like there is less than it is in reality.

Now, since I am interning for a women's organization, I am sure you are expecting me to be all feminist about gender equality here - and I will not disappoint you! The unemployment rate for women here is higher than it is for men. The figures that my organization told me is that for men it is around 40%, and for women it is 60%. A lot of the inequality and reasoning for this comes from the cultural stereotypes that it is a woman's job to raise the family. Women here get married very young (rewind to when someone told me I will be too old to get married when I am 24), and especially in villages, women stay home and have children, and a lot of them. Women aren't expected, or encouraged, to find jobs and a steady income outside of their household. There are many cases of domestic violence (that will be a separate blog entry), and women simply cannot do anything about it. The divorce rate is incredibly low, and women often do not get custody of their children after a divorce. Things are changing though, and there is a slow progress. Each generation, like everywhere in the world, becomes more "western" (I don't really love this term, but it certainly applies here), and more "modern" in terms of gender relations. Women here, unlike most Muslim countries, do not cover up, instead they readily expose a lot of skin. More and more women are finding work and providing for their families, thanks to organizations like Women for Women. It is only in many traditional families that these old stereotypes are being held firmly in place. Still, in general, the gender divide exists, and is far from equal.. even in simple things, like when a male friend of mine told me that here a women would never break up with a man she is dating, he always breaks up with her, because a woman's goal is to find a husband and does not want to end in a relationship.

Now, what really motivated me to write this blog is what recently happened in Belgrade. Of course Belgrade is not Kosovo, but I think generally the attitudes in the Balkans towards homosexuality is the same. There was supposed to be a gay-pride march in Belgrade, however it was canceled because there were many threats against the gay marchers, and the government felt as though it could not provide security for the participants. You can read about that here: http://www.balkaninsight.com/en/main/analysis/22369/

Someone in Kosovo then told me that Kosovo was more open-minded, and I thought, well is it? It turns out, not really. The same news agency, Balkan Insight, (which I highly recommend if you want to read about the news here in English), printed a story around the same time about homosexuals in Kosovo: http://www.balkaninsight.com/en/main/analysis/22403/

Soon after I read this, by coincidence one of my male friends here told me he is bisexual. He said he was only telling me and several of his friends because I'm an international, so I won't feel have as a conservative of a view as many locals. He said that if he had told his friends that he was actually gay, and not bisexual, then he would be "lost forever" and there would be no hope for him. He said there was almost no way that he could ever find a partner here because there is almost no gay community to speak of out of fear of discrimination or harm. He does not know any openly gay people, and doubts it will change any time soon. He seemed so sad and hopeless when he told me this, I felt awful. But that's just the culture here, and I guess it is the same in most (or all?) Balkan countries. For some reason, I expected something different of Kosovo, from a country that is fighting hard for its independence and claims to be so open-minded. A country with unparalleled foreign presence and people who desperately want some sort of 'change'. It was silly of me though to have such high expectations. Not everyone though is against homosexuals, like I said I have a bisexual friend, and know other people who have said that they don't think there is anything wrong with homosexuality.. however, it seems the general feeling is strongly homophobic and unaccepting.

Of course, despite all of these things, I still love Kosovo. I have to remind myself that Kosovo is a developing country, meaning it only just got its independence (well, to some), and it is still figuring itself out. I don't think there is a real Kosovar identity yet, everyone calls themselves Albanians or Serbians, not Kosovar. These issues don't really seem to be high on their list, or even on anyone's list. Everyone in Kosovo focuses mainly on the political and independence issues; these issues are critical for Kosovo's future as a nation. However, the diversity and equality problems in Kosovo are very important for me, and I felt as though I needed to highlight them. I also wanted to note that as positive as I sound about Kosovo, there are a lot of issues, many that people don't even care to acknowledge.